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Mastering Emotional Problems

The goal is to learn from the emotions and utilize them. 

  1. Identify the signal of your emotion (which most fits)
  2. Appreciate the message this emotion has

Emotion What’s the signal / message Solution / Action
Uncomfortable Change your state 1. Change your state; 2. clarify what you want, and 3. take action into that direction
Fear
(concern, worry, anxiety)
You need to prepare Be prepared to deal with negative consequences, be confident about possibilities.
Hurt An expectation is not met and you have a sense of loss Change your perception or your procedure.
Is this expectation justified or how you interact 
Anger
(irritation, enraged)
You have a standard (value) and it is not met (by another or not by yourself) Change your perception or procedure. The way you look at this or how you communicate or how you behave / interact. Communicate your standards.
Frustration You keep doing the same thing without wanted result You need to change your approach to achieve your goal.
Disappointment You need to realize an expectation you had or an outcome you wanted is  probably not going to happen. Change your expectation to a more appropriate outcome for the situation at hand. Example: period is too short.
Guilt / Regret You violated one of your own standards. You need to do something about it immediately to insure you won’t violate it again in the future. Don’t deny the guilt, it’s coming back. Make things right when you screw up. This emotion keeps you on track and makes you a better person.
Inadequacy (unworthy) You need to do something to get better in this category.  Practice. Q: Is this emotion appropriate? Maybe you have to change your perception or procedures. Maybe your rules are too harsh.
Overloaded
(overwhelmed, hopeless, depressed)
Change your state 1. Change your state. You need to reevaluate what is most important to you in this situation. What is an absolute necessity to you versus a desire. 2. Write down all the things that are most important for you to accomplish. 3. Put them in order of priority. 4. Take the first thing on the list en do something about it. When you do something about it you are in control.
Lonely You need a connection with people. 1. Identify what kind of connection you want. (friendship, intimate, someone to listen or talk to, someone to laugh with) 2. In what way do you want this to be? 3. Take action into that direction.

  • What is an empowering way to look at this?

  • What else could this mean? 

  • Choose meanings that empower you in life.

[Source: Mostly from Anthony Robbins]

Toine Fennis

Mijn missie: To Connect, Heal & Inspire. Ik verbind systemen, mensen en informatie.

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